Stephen Colbert reveals why Trump has so many Bibles: ‘Every time he holds one he bursts into flames’

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Satirist Stephen Colbert tore into Donald Trump on The Late Show on Wednesday evening over his unconvincing pivot to Bible salesmanship.

Mr Colbert started his opening monologue by recapping the most recent developments within the Republican presidential candidate’s quite a few courtroom instances earlier than declaring: “If you ever thought that this avalanche of legal scrutiny would somehow shame Trump from his non-stop grifting of the rubes then you are a sweet, sweet child, one of God’s innocents who should not be allowed in the room where daddy keeps his sharp things because, yesterday, Donald Trump announced a deal to endorse a $60 ‘God Bless the USA Bible’.

“It’s just like any other Good Book,” the comedian continued. “Except in the middle of this one there’s a centrefold.”

Mr Colbert noticed that “making a profit is Trump’s religion” earlier than ridiculing the candidate’s companion within the enterprise, nation singer Lee Greenwood, whose anthem “God Bless the USA” is a mainstay of MAGA rallies as so few different musical artists enable their compositions for use.

He additionally laid into the Republican over the choice to incorporate, alongside the holy textual content, the US Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence and the Pledge of Allegiance, all of that are within the public area and are due to this fact free for him to breed.

Mr Trump’s declare within the infomercial shilling the product that the Bible is his “favourite book” and that he has “many” copies of it got here in for a very savage dissection.

“He has to have spare bibles because every time he holds one it bursts into flames,” Mr Colbert joked, earlier than launching into a vivid impersonation of the billionaire businessman.

“I love this book, I love the snake, I love Jonah because WHALE! I love Abraham dragging his son up to the mountain for a human sacrifice – by the way, Eric, want to go camping?” he rasped.

On The Daily Show, Jordan Klepper likewise mocked Mr Trump’s resolution to bind the Bible and Constitution collectively “like it’s a Pizza Hut-Taco Bell.”

He added: “Trump getting into business with God can only mean one thing: God is going to end up bankrupt and serving a three-month prison sentence for lying under oath.”

Meanwhile, on Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host launched his personal section on the subject by drawing consideration to the jaw-dropping hypocrisy concerned: “Yep, the guy whose about to go on trial for paying hush money to cover up an affair with a porn star is selling Bibles and, because it’s a Trump Bible, most of the 10 Commandments are blacked out.”

Mr Meyers relished the gesture as solely the most recent in a protracted line of questionable merchandise the previous president has endorsed, from steaks and doubtful diplomas to, extra just lately, digital buying and selling playing cards, golden high-top trainers and cologne.

After parading a faux-gold Trump rest room plunger, the comedian wryly noticed: “Trump’s campaign isn’t, in any way, a real political campaign. It’s a money-making venture and an attempt to get out of jail. That’s it. He very obviously doesn’t care about making America great again.”

In order to bolster his enchantment to the nation’s Christian proper, Mr Trump is periodically obliged to current himself in a extra pious gentle, though he is never whilst convincing within the position as Sinclair Lewis’s grifting evangelist Elmer Gantry within the film of the identical identify – take into account him awkwardly holding up a replica of the great ebook at St John’s Church in Washington DC in summer season 2020.

Instead, he comes throughout way more like Moses Pray from Peter Bogdanovich’s movie Paper Moon (1973), a chancer who sells rip-off Bibles to grieving households in Depression-era America by concentrating on them by way of the obituary pages of the native newspaper.

Prior to this newest stunt, Mr Trump posted a disturbing marketing campaign video on social media earlier than the Iowa caucuses in late January, during which he tried to painting himself as God’s chosen emissary on Earth.

In the extremely blasphemous advert, an ersatz preacher intones: “God said I need somebody willing to get up before dawn, fix this country, work all day, fight the Marxists, eat supper, then go to the Oval Office and stay past midnight at a meeting of the heads of state. So God made Trump.

“I need somebody with arms strong enough to wrestle the Deep State and yet gentle enough to deliver his own grandchild.

“Somebody to ruffle the feathers, tame the cantankerous World Economic Forum, come home hungry, have to wait until the first lady is done with lunch with friends, then tell the ladies to be sure and come back real soon – and mean it. So God gave us Trump.”