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Simon Calder, also referred to as The Man Who Pays His Way, has been writing about journey for The Independent since 1994. In his weekly opinion column, he explores a key journey difficulty – and what it means for you.
“Did you pack this assault rifle yourself?”
Earlier this month I wrote a couple of surreal evening I spent at Stansted airport: the Essex hub turned a nocturnal movie set for the motion film One More Shot.
“Stannywood”, because the terminal is now identified, stood in for “Washington Baltimore” airport. In the ensuing movie, Stansted supplies the backdrop for a staggering variety of shootings. The terminal proves terminal for a lot of characters, I wrote, “with a body count approaching the capacity of an Airbus A320”.
The new and rather-less-violent Channel 4 drama sequence Truelove can be a matter of life and dying. The makers say: “Truelove wrestles with the knottiest of ethical questions out there – is it ever right to help end a life?” And, within the ultimate episode, it has an important airport scene.
Here, the weapon used to stop somebody from flying was not a semi-automatic rifle – however the post-Brexit rule on British passport holders going to the European Union.
The setting: Bristol airport, on the airline desk for a flight to Malaga. David, performed by Peter Egan, is on an pressing mission to Spain. He arms his passport over to the check-in agent, who research it intently.
“Is something wrong… is there a problem?”
The check-in agent says: “OK, yep, you see?”
“What am I looking at?” asks David.
“Well, you’ve got two months and 26 days left on this. You need three months for the EU.”
“It’s a valid passport,” insists David.
“Three months for the EU/Schengen. Sorry sir. Next please.”
Sharp-eyed viewers (or these, like me, who ought to maybe get out slightly extra) will instantly discover that David’s passport is “blue” – a kind that’s issued solely from 2020. The earliest any such grownup passport will expire is 2030.
More worryingly, this significant plot twist confuses the foundations. Flying out to the EU, a British passport should not be over 10 years outdated. On the deliberate day for coming again, three months validity should stay on the meant day of return. By dwelling solely on the expiry date, there’s a threat that viewers can be unaware of the 10-year stipulation.
While no person who watches One More Shot will conclude they will henceforth flip up on the Stansted safety checkpoint carrying a gun, viewers of Truelove can be forgiven for assuming solely the expiry date of a UK passport is related for journey to the European Union.
Back at Bristol airport, David’s journey isn’t going properly.
“I need to go to Spain today.”
“If it’s an emergency then the passport office will see you.”
“What – in London?”
“Newport, just over the bridge. Next.”
The less-than-helpful check-in agent may have pointed David to the Online Premium service, the place you undergo the appliance process upfront and attend an appointment (in Newport, if one is accessible).
A passport is promised on the spot, as long as your papers are so as. At a price of just about £200, that is greatest averted. So in case you are heading for the EU, it is a good second for me to remind you to verify the passport difficulty and expiry dates for you and your fellow travellers: under-16s are notably annoying as a result of their paperwork expire after 5 years.
Right now, the proof is that passport renewals are taking only a week. So please verify: worldwide journey includes sufficient drama already.
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