‘Infertility made me feel so responsible’

News presenter Andrea Byrne has stated she feared her husband can be “better off” with out her in the course of the couple’s seven-year expertise of infertility.

Byrne, 45, who’s married to former Wales rugby worldwide Lee Byrne, 44, has offered Welsh and community information for ITV since 2008.

“You feel so guilty,” recalled Byrne, who was informed by medical doctors that she would possible by no means be capable of carry her personal being pregnant.

“I remember those feelings all the time of thinking [Lee] would be better off without me.”

The couple gave beginning to their daughter Jemima, who “defied science” by being conceived naturally, in 2019.

“I feel very conscious when I’m telling my story, that maybe it’s easier to tell because we did get the ending that we had,” stated Byrne.

“But I still feel it’s important to talk about, because I know how lonely we were during that journey.”

After getting married on New Year’s Day in 2012, Byrne stated she and her husband started making an attempt to get pregnant immediately.

“We were both at the start of our 30s,” she stated. “I didn’t have any reason to think there would be issues.”

After some time, they went to a fertility clinic for assessments.

An ultrasound revealed a difficulty with the thickness of Byrne’s womb lining, which she described in her new e-book Desperate Rants and Magic Pants as an “unfixable rare genetic defect”.

“It’s the kind of news that you don’t expect to hear,” Byrne informed the BBC.

Years of intrusive assessments and procedures adopted, together with a number of rounds of IVF.

“To be honest, the number of cycles, I couldn’t even tell you,” she stated.

“We also tried lots of different things on top of the IVF, things that we were advised might work from different specialists.

“We additionally had some constructive being pregnant assessments and thought we had been pregnant, however sadly we had losses as properly.

“So it was a real rollercoaster of emotion.”

Byrne stated the years of making an attempt to conceive additionally took a toll on her relationship along with her husband.

“I like to think that we’re really strong because of it, but boy, at the time it’s really difficult,” she stated.

“There are times when we wondered how we would stay together,” added Byrne, “because it’s so difficult emotionally”.

“I remember I used to say to Lee, and he used to get quite cross with me, because I used to say ‘oh just go and find somebody else, somebody else could do this more easily, just go and find another woman’.

“And he would say to me ‘goodness, we’re on this collectively’.”

Doctors eventually told the couple their only hope was surrogacy and, in 2018, they began exploring the possibility of finding a surrogate in the USA.

In her book, Byrne describes finding out just minutes before she was due to present the evening news that none of the embryos they hoped to use for a surrogate were viable.

She wrote: “I take a look at my tear-streaked reflection within the mirror, patch up the broken basis, breathe deeply, stroll out of the dressing room, placed on a smile and stroll via a busy newsroom, and on to the set.”

Byrne said that moment felt like the end of the road.

“We had a dialog after that information and determined we might transfer on and construct one other life collectively,” she said.

“I get actually emotional about it, as a result of I felt so responsible about not having the ability to do what each different girl may do.”

But just a few months later, against all the odds, Byrne fell pregnant naturally.

“Amazingly, we fell pregnant once more, and this time it was Jemima. It was unbelievable actually,” said Byrne.

“We had been with out hope they usually stated the probabilities are you’ll by no means be capable of carry your individual being pregnant.

“So she [Jemima] really did defy everybody, all the medical advice we’d been given, she came along and said ‘nope, I’m going to make it through’.”

Byrne, who additionally hosts the Making Babies fertility podcast, stated writing her e-book was “emotional” and “in a way cathartic”.

“I know it’s a bit of a cliched word but it does provide a little bit of closure too, I guess,” she stated.

The e-book consists of chapters reflecting the fertility experiences of numerous different celebrities who’ve appeared on Byrne’s podcast, together with presenter Gabby Logan and comic Geoff Norcott.

“I look at Jemima every single day and I’m just so grateful,” stated Byrne.

“I’m glad that I am able, hopefully, to use my platform to hopefully have a positive effect and maybe help other people feel less isolated.”

Asked if she had any recommendation for others experiencing infertility, Byrne stated she wished she had been kinder to herself.

“I think it’s very easy when you get some bad news about a cycle, or you’re having a bad time dealing with it, that you catastrophise and think 10 steps ahead,” she stated.

“And before you know it you’ve written off any chance of anything, which is very easy to do because it feels so hopeless.

“Nobody is aware of what’s going to occur 10 steps down the highway, so simply attempt to cope with what’s taking place in that second. I want I’d achieved that extra.

“And also been a bit kinder to ourselves, and yourself in the process. Take that time to find little bits of joy where you can and take time out if you need to from it.

“Because it may be all consuming, friendships-wise, family-wise, it impacts all the things. So you actually have to be variety to your self.”

If you’ve been affected by the problems on this article, info and assist about infertility is obtainable by way of BBC Action Line.

Desperate Rants and Magic Pants – Our Fertility Story by Andrea Byrne, revealed by Y Lolfa, was launched on 9 October.