Argylle is a disaster for all involved – but especially Henry Cavill

Get our free weekly e mail for all the most recent cinematic information from our movie critic Clarisse Loughrey

Get our The Life Cinematic e mail for free

Rarely do duds come as obvious and apparent as Argylle. The blockbuster film, about a spy novelist (Bryce Dallas Howard) who’s sucked into a real-life net of homicide and espionage, had flatlined earlier than even reaching cinemas. Was it the gaudy, laugh-repellent trailer that proved its undoing? The nebulous premise, which appeared to suppose there was one thing fascinating concerning the query of “Who is the real Agent Argylle?” The latest insipid output of director Matthew Vaughn (The King’s Man; Kingsman: The Golden Circle)? Maybe all of the above. Just how damagingly the movie has flopped stays to be seen, in fact: it opened to a paltry $16m (£12.7m) within the US, and barely over double that worldwide. Factor within the nine-figure manufacturing finances and a advertising marketing campaign that appeared to do all the things but observe you house and throw rocks at your window, and it’s no surprise that some shops are already branding Argylle an unmitigated disaster.

The Independent’s three-star assessment was far hotter than most; I, like many individuals, hated it. Nobody walks away from Argylle with their head held excessive. Sam Rockwell shunts his manner by some dreary slapstick motion; Bryan Cranston and Catherine O’Hara are shoddy, unserious villains; John Cena, Dua Lipa and Ariana DeBose make glorified cameos; solely Samuel L Jackson, maybe Hollywood’s most completed and unimpeachable casher of cheques, glides by the mess untroubled, like a greased-up toboggan down a deep, acquainted groove. Howard brings to Argylle the identical drippy high quality she did to Jurassic World (what’s the alternative of joie de vivre?) but for my cash, it’s Henry Cavill, taking part in the imagined embodiment of the fictional Agent Argylle, who has probably the most to fret about.

Cavill, sporting a form of gravity-defying Action Man hairdo and an unpleasant luxurious jacket, is featured prominently in Argylle’s advertising, though comparatively little within the movie itself. He is by no means a fleshed-out character, as an alternative embodying simply the unfastened thought of a superspy – James Bond as sketched on a pub serviette. At numerous factors during the last decade, Cavill’s identify has been floated in conversations about Daniel Craig’s 007 successor but Argylle means that the franchise was proper to (seemingly) swerve him. The efficiency might generously be described as understanding self-parody: Cavill’s spy is stiff, smug and as dry as a nail-varnish martini. But deliberately or not, it’s a drag to look at.

During an early struggle scene on a prepare, we watch from Elly Conway’s (Howard) perspective as Rockwell’s character morphs repeatedly into Cavill (and again once more) whereas scrapping with goons. It’s a clunky gimmick for the struggle scene and one which illustrates simply how little panache Cavill musters – each time he pops again on display screen, it’s just like the temperature drops a few levels. If his preening, too-perfect spy is a self-lampooning joke, then it’s not a humorous one, in the best way that, say, Regé-Jean Page’s pompous knight in Dungeons & Dragons or Ryan Gosling’s himbo Ken doll in Barbie are. No, the character right here is simply nothing, and solely appears to affirm Cavill’s harshest critics.

What’s notably regarding for Cavill is that Argylle comes amid a patch of palpable profession uncertainty. The actor rode to prominence on The Tudors within the late Noughties earlier than discovering stardom as Superman in Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel and, extra not too long ago, the Netflix fantasy sequence The Witcher. In the previous couple of years, nonetheless, he’s bade goodbye to his two signature roles. Fans had speculated that he give up as The Witcher’s flaxen-haired Geralt in anticipation of latest Superman sequels; in December 2022, he revealed that he had been unexpectedly dropped as Superman after a studio management reshuffle.

Both The Witcher and DC Comics have very involved, fervid fanbases; Cavill – a loud and proud Warhammer fanatic and all-round nerd, “one of their own”, because it have been – was a common selection for in each situations. And but, among the many important institution, scepticism remained. We know at this level that Cavill, now 40, can play picket and unexpressive effectively (a supporting flip in Mission: Impossible – Fallout was equally inflexible). But can he limber up? Without the protection internet of a franchise beneath him, Cavill is at a level the place he wants to essentially show his appearing chops if he desires to endure as a film star. Argylle presents nothing in the best way of proof.

It would in fact be unfair to carry Cavill accountable for Argylle’s failings; it could be like blaming the sinking of the RMS Titanic on the maître d’ of the on-deck restaurant. But it leaves his inventory extra precarious than ever. It’s all very effectively being the person of metal – now it’s time to point out some.

‘Argylle’ is out in cinemas now