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Simon Calder, also referred to as The Man Who Pays His Way, has been writing about travel for The Independent since 1994. In his weekly opinion column, he explores a key travel difficulty – and what it means for you.
“Did you pack this assault rifle yourself?”
Earlier this month I wrote a few surreal night time I spent at Stansted airport: the Essex hub turned a nocturnal movie set for the motion film One More Shot.
“Stannywood”, because the terminal is now identified, stood in for “Washington Baltimore” airport. In the ensuing movie, Stansted supplies the backdrop for a staggering variety of shootings. The terminal proves terminal for a lot of characters, I wrote, “with a body count approaching the capacity of an Airbus A320”.
The new and rather-less-violent Channel 4 drama sequence Truelove can also be a matter of life and demise. The makers say: “Truelove wrestles with the knottiest of ethical questions out there – is it ever right to help end a life?” And, within the last episode, it has an important airport scene.
Here, the weapon used to stop somebody from flying was not a semi-automatic rifle – however the post-Brexit rule on British passport holders going to the European Union.
The setting: Bristol airport, on the airline desk for a flight to Malaga. David, performed by Peter Egan, is on an pressing mission to Spain. He fingers his passport over to the check-in agent, who research it intently.
“Is something wrong… is there a problem?”
The check-in agent says: “OK, yep, you see?”
“What am I looking at?” asks David.
“Well, you’ve got two months and 26 days left on this. You need three months for the EU.”
“It’s a valid passport,” insists David.
“Three months for the EU/Schengen. Sorry sir. Next please.”
Sharp-eyed viewers (or these, like me, who ought to maybe get out somewhat extra) will instantly discover that David’s passport is “blue” – a kind that’s issued solely since 2020. The earliest any such grownup passport will expire is 2030.
More worryingly, this important plot twist confuses the rules. Flying out to the EU, a British passport should not be over 10 years previous. On the deliberate day for coming again, three months validity should stay on the meant day of return. By dwelling solely on the expiry date, there’s a danger that viewers might be unaware of the 10-year stipulation.
While no person who watches One More Shot will conclude they’ll henceforth flip up on the Stansted safety checkpoint carrying a gun, viewers of Truelove might be forgiven for assuming solely the expiry date of a UK passport is related for travel to the European Union.
Back at Bristol airport, David’s journey isn’t going nicely.
“I need to go to Spain today.”
“If it’s an emergency then the passport office will see you.”
“What – in London?”
“Newport, just over the bridge. Next.”
The less-than-helpful check-in agent might have pointed David to the Online Premium service, the place you undergo the appliance process upfront and attend an appointment (in Newport, if one is offered).
A passport is promised on the spot, as long as your papers are so as. At a price of virtually £200, that is finest averted. So if you’re heading for the EU, this can be a good second for me to remind you to examine the passport difficulty and expiry dates for you and your fellow travellers: under-16s are notably annoying as a result of their paperwork expire after 5 years.
Right now, the proof is that passport renewals are taking only a week. So please examine: worldwide travel includes sufficient drama already.
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